Sunday, March 16, 2014

Just keep breathing!

It has been a difficult week. I almost decided not to write this week because I don't like to write things that are not positive.  Nothing bad in particular actually happened, but a lot of frustrating things around me. 
It also has rained almost all week. It was good for the plants because it really has not rained at all since I got back from England. We've actually never had this much rain in such a short time. I think the weather was thinking "oops, I have only a few days left of winter, so I better use them well." It rained and rained and then rained some more. Drains in the street are not that good here, so we had rivers of water running down the streets. It would have been better to ride a boat instead of a car, but oh well. Today was finally sunny and warm, yay!

I have not slept well for the last few days because of mosquitoes. It was freezing so I was too lazy and did not want to get out of my warm bed to find them so I can actually sleep. I just kept hoping they would go away and they didn't. I finally killed two of them today. Hopefully tonight I will be able to sleep. Last night I did not sleep at all but mostly because my mom was not feeling well and she kept me awake. She is better now.

I applied to two positions at BYU and then emailed one of my old professors at BYU who basically told me that there is no way I would get those jobs or any other jobs at any universities.  The reason, he said, was that I don't have many publications. It suddenly all made sense to me. I have mostly applied to universities and can now see why they would not want to hire me. I actually feel that it is very unlikely that I will find a job in the USA. That is fine with me though, whatever happens will be ok.

I went to a meeting with my brother the other day. It was for a group of young students (high school) who were learning more about the Palestinian cause and how to answer questions about Palestine. I was actually so impressed with a lot of our youth here. Most of them speak excellent English and know so much and can actually talk about Palestine to others.  My sister-in-law and I acted like Zionists and asked the students questions and they had to respond. They did well for the most part.

I've actually been thinking a lot about the situation here and feeling bad because there seems to be nothing to do to resolve the conflict. I watched the movie 'Omar' and that was kind of depressing. It is our sad reality mostly and many Palestinians are victims like those in the movie. If you have not seen the movie, I highly recommend it. Here's is a picture from the movie as Omar (the star of the movie) gets ready to climb the separation wall:

I watched the movie Cast Away again the other day. (I seem to be watching a lot of movies lately, don't you think?) When he tries to kill himself because he thinks that he lost all hope of being saved from off the island.  He then says that he decides that even though there is no hope of someone saving him, he would just continue to live and breathe. He said he would continue to breathe until that thing that seemed impossible becomes possible.  I kind of feel like that sometimes. Not because I feel I am on an island and feel miserable, but because I feel that right now all I have to do is breathe. I think all of us Palestinians should also just keep breathing and pressing forward.  Until one day that thing that seems impossible becomes possible.  It seems like I and many Palestinians are waiting for a miracle, but miracles do happen and I believe in them! (The second picture is actually of my brother, Mazin)

 (showing he is not wearing any explosives)

1 comment:

  1. Salam Sahar,
    I attended a lecture that your brother Mazin gave in Utah a couple years ago. While many of the things happening in Bethlehem are terrible and make me sick inside, the kind of resistance and education that Mazin so deeply believes in is inspiring and gives me hope.