I have been so busy recently that I convinced myself I don't have time to be sick. I had a sore throat for a while and felt a little bit of fever, but I pushed it away and it seems to be mostly gone except that now I am coming down with a cold which I hate. I hope it does not last long. It was nice to have a quiet weekend and do some of things that I needed to do like clean the house and do laundry. I am still far behind regarding my classes, but closer than I was.
Halloween is approaching and I see many shops display Halloween candy and many costumes. As I think of the masks and costumes many put on during this holiday, I marvel that behind those masks lie other masks. I feel that sometimes we are not who we appear to be.
I ask my friends often, "So, how are you doing?" and always get the answer: "I am fine." I often see in their eyes a sadness or concern that they do not disclose. I have often told people how I feel, "Oh I am stressed, or sick or ..." Then I started to question myself, should I hide what I feel because my friends are starting to think I complain too much?
Why do we put on a mask? Why do we feel it necessary that others see us as someone else? I feel many are outwardly righteous when in reality their faith has left them. I have been evaluating myself and feel I belong in that group sometimes. People that meet me or know of me tend to think I am amazing and that I am faithful and have a strong testimony. But, their view of me is not close to reality...I am not amazing as many may think. (shocking, right?)
I have started thinking lately that I need to be a different person. More loving, more kind, less judgmental and definitely more faithful.
I have been allowing my busy life to direct what I do, but I realize I must stop and focus on the things that really matter. I hate this part of life in the US...everyone here is so busy and many become detached from anything that is real and anything that really matters.
There are good people all around us. Why do we not open up and get to know one another? Why do we each have a wall around us that prevents others from reaching our hearts and seeing our true identity? Why do we too often look at ourselves in the mirror and imagine a horrible person looking back at us.
We are divine beings. We are created in the image of God and we are magnificent. We can become better than we ever imagined. Everyone around us is also amazing. We just have to see differently and listen differently. President Uchtdorf said: "We tread a path covered with diamonds, but we can scarcely distinguish them from ordinary pebbles." Each one of us has a diamond inside waiting to be uncovered.
We need the Savior to help us become from coals into diamonds. He commands us to be perfect and through His atonement we can be perfect. I hope that as we look into the mirror we will one day see his image in our countenance. That as time goes by we will see that we are becoming more and more like Him.
Here is one of my favorite messages by Pres. Uchtdorf:
Click to watch the message about the ugly duckling